# Role of parents in raising self-driven children

  1. Cultivate self-control: The ability to stop (resist temptation)

  2. Cultivate self-motivation: The ability to start (without external rewards)

  3. Provide a space for recovery

# References

The Self-Driven Child (p.38)

We want our kids to get to Stage 3, the consciously competent stage, but we can’t do that without letting them graduate through the other stages on their own. You shouldn’t be absent during this process; you should be standing behind them, offering support and guidance the whole time.

The Self-Driven Child (p. 55)

It’s our responsibility as parents to give the information and perspective that we have - and that stye lack - in order to enable them to make the best possible choices. Once properly informed, kids usually do make good decisions for themselves - and their decisions are almost ways as good as or better than our own.

The Self-Driven Child (p.113)

So how do you keep a child develop a healthy dopamine system? The answer is surprisingly simple: encourage them to work hard at what they love.